Log into any five random gay forums and you are bound to find at least one of them hotly debating the married gays issue. (Not the good and wholesome man-man bonding one but the sham fake man-woman ones).
Most of the married guys crib about the fact that opposition to their nuptials arise out of a perverse sense of bi-phobia that they claim exists amongst most gay men. Somehow, they imply we feel threatened by the Completeness of their life.
Pati, Patni and Boyfriend
They never seem to realise that the opposition is not to the fact that they are bi-sexual (which itself is very often debateable) but to the fact that they use this as an excuse for adultery.
It is pretty much a waste of time to try and tell them that using the sham excuse of bi-sexuality to justify a gay lover on the side is about as valid as using the excuse of being a hot and horny nymphomaniac to justify having a go at the secretary in the office.
The second argument is "I am making this sacrifice for my family's sake". Which really does not fit in with the first excuse, since, if they were truly bi-sexual a marriage with a woman would NOT be a sacrifice.
And then of-course there is the third justification. Society expects it from us. What can one say to that but laud your social consciousness.
Over the last weekend however I realised that it is not just fags who tend to disapprove of this threes company concept.
Spent Saturday in Pune since the sis needed a bartender to help out with a party she was throwing. Plus the nephew was cribbing about the fact that some of the new game sites he had logged in to from Bombay were not working on his machine at home. After all that he had done for me when he was down in Bombay I owed him.
Since Friday night was spent doing the Cabaret at the Club (see Wilds comments to previous post) I got there only late afternoon on Saturday and had not met the guys till they came in for dinner. The usual bunch. Pretty much a cross section of regular Indian Guys, (and some wives) from different parts of the country.
New to the group was this young man, the married son of one of Bro-in-laws dealers, who had recently joined the company. Interesting face, nice body but saddled with a "friend" from Bombay. The Friend was someone you would very typically find on a Saturday night at Voodoos. Intruiging, to say the least.
Most of the married guys crib about the fact that opposition to their nuptials arise out of a perverse sense of bi-phobia that they claim exists amongst most gay men. Somehow, they imply we feel threatened by the Completeness of their life.
Pati, Patni and Boyfriend
They never seem to realise that the opposition is not to the fact that they are bi-sexual (which itself is very often debateable) but to the fact that they use this as an excuse for adultery.
It is pretty much a waste of time to try and tell them that using the sham excuse of bi-sexuality to justify a gay lover on the side is about as valid as using the excuse of being a hot and horny nymphomaniac to justify having a go at the secretary in the office.
The second argument is "I am making this sacrifice for my family's sake". Which really does not fit in with the first excuse, since, if they were truly bi-sexual a marriage with a woman would NOT be a sacrifice.
And then of-course there is the third justification. Society expects it from us. What can one say to that but laud your social consciousness.
Over the last weekend however I realised that it is not just fags who tend to disapprove of this threes company concept.
Spent Saturday in Pune since the sis needed a bartender to help out with a party she was throwing. Plus the nephew was cribbing about the fact that some of the new game sites he had logged in to from Bombay were not working on his machine at home. After all that he had done for me when he was down in Bombay I owed him.
Since Friday night was spent doing the Cabaret at the Club (see Wilds comments to previous post) I got there only late afternoon on Saturday and had not met the guys till they came in for dinner. The usual bunch. Pretty much a cross section of regular Indian Guys, (and some wives) from different parts of the country.
New to the group was this young man, the married son of one of Bro-in-laws dealers, who had recently joined the company. Interesting face, nice body but saddled with a "friend" from Bombay. The Friend was someone you would very typically find on a Saturday night at Voodoos. Intruiging, to say the least.
I decided that it was not the time or the place for me to make any comments about this. Nor point out how odd it was that "with me in college" friend was about 5 - 7 years his junior.
I realised that I need not have bothered since obviously almost everybody out there had noticed something was weird and were making comments about the two that would have made a simple guy like me blush the shade of the Bloody Marie's I was making.
What struck a chord though was one comment made that most of them agreed with. And in that comment I realised that I had found the correct response to the "Society expects it from us" argument.
"If he wants to live this way why hell did he get married?"
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