Balls of Bile

The working title of this mail was "With Malice towards all" But I realized that nothing that the Old Surd wrote ever was so vicious and evil.

So here goes and I hope that nobody decides to take me to court for this one.

I keep thinking about this young man, who was supposed to immerse his fathers' ashes in the Brahmaputra but unfortunately had to be admitted to hospital on that very day. While over the last month we have ended up being bombarded with every minute detail of what is going on in his life one thing seems to have been missed by most of the news channels.

What happened to Daddies ashes?

A very nasty thought has entered my mind. Could the reluctance of the Delhi Police to specify the quantum and purity of the material collected from the Safdarjang Road residence have something to do with the fact that they may be checking the WRONG white powder?

One only had to look at the kind of goggles that both Big B father and son were wearing at the IIFA awards recently to realize that these were certainly not the ones bought for 2.4 lacs. They made me feel all nostalgic as I thought back on the days when you could buy those dark glasses from the phoggawalla for a couple of bucks at Chowpatty or Juhu Beach.

Have you noticed that both Baby and Rahul have suddenly gone for that clean shaven look. I for one am not complaining. I hate stubble rubbing against my lips.

Talking of the Baby have you noticed in the recent car ad with so many hot bods around, (of both genders) our boy has a short chubby little guy giving him company on the ride to Goa. And if that were not enough, he changes the schedule of the vacation at the whims and fancies of someone "who looks just like me". Plus he has always claimed to be a childhood buddy of Karan J and we all know hat HE looked like as a kid. I guess there is hope for me- Be still my heart.

Daddy (Sasurji) on the other hand seems to have graduated to wearing only high neck shirts these days. The think bigger think smarter ad for his good friend Anil has him in a Polo-neck that completely covers his neck. This at a time when just a few days back there was this article (in the Times I think) about how the Neck is the giveaway for a whole bunch of guys who have done cosmetic stuff to their faces.

I know I put this out as an SMS to some of the guys who check the blog so pres fast forward on this one.

Rakesh Roshan had this badly dressed, freaky looking dummy with Superpowers as the Star of his previous film. Is it not odd that he repeats the same formula in his new movie.

Even before the movie has been released Krish has been labeled a Super Hit and all the stakeholders on this project have already signed on to support the making of a sequel. I guess leading the bandwagon of supporters would be the Garment Industry and the Plastics guys who have been making a killing selling Krish T-shirts, masks, pencil boxes, mug, plates a Roubik cube, dart boards and of course Dolls.

Got into a major argument with the nephew over this. While we were both agreed on buying the t-shirt, he wanted to buy the dart set while I wanted to get the Roubik cube. Call me a spoil-sport (I know most of you do that in any case so it's not going to make me feel depressed.) but I have a problem with giving a bunch of high energy 7 and 8 years olds stuff with sharp points that they can throw at random.

By the way I noticed that they had the design of the Dart board all wrong. Correct me if I am wrong but I feel that the High Score would have to come to the guy who manages to shoot his spear into Hritik's open mouth. The other option for a Bulls Eye would have to be getting him in the ass. Oddly enough the guys who designed this toy did NOT think so. I am sure a better designed board (and a more anatomically correct Life Size Krish Doll) would have allowed the merchandisers to target a whole new segment of the fan market.

With both of them launching new projects in all four corners of the country the Ambani Bhaiaas seem to have given a whole new twist to the term "Divide and Rule".

Bombay is going to get a Metro Rail system. Even before the plan can get off the ground (or under the ground in this case) there is hope that this project will greatly improve the economy. All the Lawyers and Environmentalists are clapping their hands with glee at the prospect of a whole new bunch of PILS and agitations that they will be able to launch to delay, and disrupt this new plan.

Continuing with the Tycoons, Mittal needs to take some pointers from a certain "High Flying Industrialist" on how to go about handling competition. Offer an absurdly high amount to buy out the Company, Sign the MOU, take control of senior management, run the company into the Ground and then walk off leaving a useless shell, complaining that the company is not worth all that much money.

It is stuff like this that they did not teach you at IIM.

Now that all this filth I out of my system I can go to the gym and get myself weighed. I'm sure I'll be a whole lot lighter today.