Long Term Relationships - My mantra for happiness

Those who know me will be well aware of the fact that for nearly a decade now I have been a loyal and faithful lover with a single minded devotion to just the One.

Whoa!!!! Will you guys please stop screaming and screeching all at the same time?

What! Did I even imply that my commitment was to a guy? Huh!! Answer me that!!!

Have I not always been loyal to Sony Ericsson all my adult life?

From the very first day that he walked in with that cheesy "One black coffee" line I have fallen head over heels for that sexy green and silver yin-yang of his. (Get your mind out of the gutter you sluts I was not talking about THAT!).

Through thick and thin, including a very flashy (and gaudy) orange backlight and sides phase I have never so much as looked at any other model.

To be honest there have been times when my commitment has been severely tested.

When the brazen nympos at Nokia started doing those contortions and twists and turns like a limber East European gymnast I could not but stare and wish that my staid little partner would be as agile.

When the desperate whores at O2 started the whole "touchy feely thing" I merely gazed with glazed eyes but went back to my one true love.

It got progressively worse when they offered to carry a dowry of "Windows Mobile Edition". But no I stayed committed.

So is it a wonder that last week I went and bought the new M600. Sleek sexy, slim, and with the "caress my HUGE thing (display you a@@##holes)" brashness?

And from that day one I have not had a moments rest. Not in a good sense let me tell you.

With SE the one thing you could be sure of is that they would not put a half baked product on the market. Or so I believed. But the 600 was a cranky little bitch.

Randomly it would crib that it did not have enough battery power or memory, and just turn off and go to sleep. What was worse was that it often just decided to restart sometimes in the middle of a call.

The service centres that I took it to stared at it like it was an alien. Sure I love to by my phones the moment they release them but that is no excuse for the so called "Authorised Service Centres" to be unaware of its existence.

Finally I decided to search the net for salvation and sure enough I found that they had released a new version of the Operating system.

To download the damn thing though I had to connect the unit to my computer and "press and hold the C button".

This they want you to do on an instrument that does not have the conventional keypad and with over 20 keys (and a jog dial to add to the mayhem) has no "C" key.

It took frantic calls to the service centre in Jhumri Talaiya to get the info on what they meant.

New software downloaded the bitch finally started behaving the obliging little vixen that I have been used to.

I guess all that they say about true love, commitment and faithfulness to "The One" must be true.

Now if only I could find it in me to have similar feeling for guys, my life would be perfect.