Blowing off... STEAM

Yesterday was a learning experience for me.

And NO! This is not a story about how to make dahi kadhi and an instant dahi dessert. (Whats with this obsession with dahi anyway??)

This is about facing the reality that in this enlightened age we are still subject to exploitation and abuse.

Thrown in my face was the harsh reality that the Casting Couch exists and not only in upper end Bollywood movies (where a certain superstars refusal to put out for the director resulted in him getting cast in the role of a depressed looser in a recent Blockbuster).

The fact that I did not put out for this small time documentary ‘film maker’ (a euphemism for one man and his video-cam) resulted in my being filmed in a manner and fashion that reinforced what my detractors have been saying for all these years – Basically that I have a face and style best suited for radio.

I can so empathise with my father-in-law today when he realises that there are no relevant roles for mature actors and most of the screen time gets hogged by a bunch of pretty young faces with questionable talent and morality that would make a buccaneer blush.

And when I requested the Director in question for a reshoot my earnest appeal was met with a derisive laugh and a comment that I should be glad that I did not have to suffer the fate of a certain Chief ministers son whose complete performance in the same Blockbuster was snipped and left on the floor of the editing room because he refused to perform “as the director wanted him to”.

Anyway enough about my sad tale of woe, and lets talk about this mans “Labour of Love” (what an appropriate term).

Even though it is a documentary it manages to pack in all the essentials of mainstream Hindi cinema – the clash of the classes, lavish outdoor locales, drama, intrigue, the now de rigueur use of profane language, an item number (which obviously got cut off by the censors even though it was referred to by the actors). And oh yes a stellar performance by the ageing evil villain and his sidekick.

Though wrapped up in all that masaala one fact stood out and perhaps yesterdays meet was a validation of that undeniable truth.

Gay Bombay is relevant and important in the development of the queer community in this city.

Yes, it may not be a registered group, and it is not obsessed with AIDS and other health and wellness issues,

Yes, it may be focussed exclusively on an Upper middle class (elitist?) segment of the community which is more comfortable with English than Hindi.

With due apologies to all of those who see these as negatives, I believe, more firmly than ever before, that GB serves its purpose by creating a space where a bunch of guys can get together and chill without having to apologise, TO ANYONE, for who they are and what their lifestyle choices are.

Who I chose to socialise with and the norms that I impose on my chosen safe space are a part of the choices I make and to impose any condition on these is to restrict my personal freedom.

As long as I do NOT demean or abuse any other segment of the queer community I am free to choose to celebrate my sexuality with a restricted segment of the community WITHOUT having to apologise for my actions.

I make the choice of whether I wish to attend the Humsafar meetings or the GB meeting and nobody has the right to condemn me for the choice I make in much the same way as I expect to be free to choose the GB events that I wish to participate in.

For me, I am as disinclined to go for the GB parties (where 99.9 % percent of the music is Bollywood and worse) or even the speed dating events as I was for the Humsafar Friday meets (when they did exist).

Nobody has the right to judge me based on these issues.

Nobody has the right to question my commitment to being a part of the community (even if it be to a small restricted segment of it) based on the choices I make.

If I chose to stand apart from Bobby Darling that is my choice and I will not have someone, ANYONE, imply that I have let down the community or the “Cause” because I Choose to do so.

In much the same way as I would say this to the homophobic multitude out there let me also be very clear that this also goes out to that “Gay Activist” minority who believe that I need to live my life by their rules.

I’m HERE,

I’m QUEER,

DEAL WITH IT.