If you are a poor villager travelling from Interior Maharashtra to Delhi, you would probably need to change trains at some point in time.
For the convenience of the passengers making this Journey the Railways have what are called “retiring rooms” at the Railway Stations.
Not very comfortable, stocked with Colonial British style furniture these places offer the weary commuter minimal comfort and practically no amenities.
For the slightly more sophisticated (aka rich) commuter travelling by air they have the Airport Lounges at the Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vimantal. These lounges offer a slightly better experience to a supposedly more pampered class of our community. Plans are afoot to improve the facilities at these airports but there is a major problem with getting the Commies to consent to giving anything more than a cushion of nails to the “Blood Sucking Capitalist Pigs”.
There is however another class of Commuter. True the journey from Bombay to Delhi is not always fast and certainly not direct.
The advantage that these gentlemen have is that they certainly get a very luxurious place to cool their butt while the wait for the connection to come through.
Ladies (I hope there are at least a few women who are reading this) and Gentlemen, Behold the latest innovation in Transit luxury – THE RAJ BHUVAN.
Mr. Shinde seems to have finally got his flight from Mumbai to Delhi – so what if it involved a couple of months lay-over at Hyderabad.
Mr. Krishna is however waiting for his confirmation to come through. Rumour has it that he is a bit peeved at not having got his flight yet and has threatened to take a return flight back to Bangalore (have they changed the name of the place yet?).
Watching the news yesterday was very upsetting. One after another the whole bunch of new inductees on camera pledged their allegiance to the Lady in charge and incidentally thanked Mannu bhai for complying with the dictates of his boss.
I have some suggestion for Madam for the next time she decides to change the décor of her Kitchen cabinets.
Mr. Buta Singh (who has actually had a pretty long stint in the waiting room at the Bihar Raj Bhuvan) can certainly lend great honour and dignity to the office of Minister of Law.
Mr. Dharam Singh, with his astute knowledge of the Legislative Procedures, would be a shoo-in for the ministry of Parliamentary Affairs with additional charge of Coalition Coordination. (With the option of a stop-over in Hyderabad or Patna).
With the new kid on the Block Narayan Rane desperate to get his butt in to a bigger seat Madam will also have to find a parking place for Mr. Deshmukh. This is a man with tremendous potential. The options available to him for career advancement are numerous and varied.
He could be the Minister in Charge of Urban Development and Infrastructure.
Or if he wants he could opt to head a newly formed GoM (Group of Ministers you ignoramus) to study the issues of changing the law on Euthanasia so that acts like his will not get covered under the clause that handles self abetment of Suicide.
With his families exposure in the field he could also take over the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting. His Bollywood connections would be a huge asset here.
Since Madam heads a coalition Government and swears by the Coalition Dharma it is only fair that she should offer a few seats to some of her loyal allies and partners
Ms. Rabri Devi would be perfect for a new stint at the Ministry of Women and Child Devlopment. With her vast experience in running her family business and her family while her husband was away shows the talent and resources she brings to the office.
Mr. Sitaram Yechury. In the ultimate analysis, shallow as this may sound, LOOKS MATTER. Mr. Y has been fighting a battle within his party as to whether he or Mr. Raja should be given the option of being the first Commie in the UPA Government.
While Mr. Raja certainly has the advantage of higher lung power and the ability to instinctively and automatically reject every suggestion of the Reform lobby he has to suffer for the fact that so many years after it was launched he has made absolutely no effort to try and use Fair and Lovely to improve his appearance. (His contention that it is a Multinational brand product is not really relevant in matters of personal survival NOTING MATTERS).
So please put your hands together (NOT THAT WAY you Chack!!!) for the NEW Finance Minister.
OK let me explain the rationale behind this move. Over the last year or so it has become obvious that at various points the Government has given the impression that it has got its signals crossed. Mr Sibal, aided by some of the babus at the Science and Technology Ministry, have studied the situation and narrowed down the problem to the fact that the situation arises from the use of multiple remote controls. Since Madam refuses to surrender hers the only option left is that the Remote Control given to the Left Front be taken away.
Inducting Mr. Yechury into the Ministry with a posting of his choice was the price that the Congress had to pay for this.
I wonder whether Chidambaram will opt for the Bihar Tour or the Hyderabad layover.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Redecorating...
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Taking a stand
It’s getting to that time of the year again.
Every year around the Ides of March I end up taking on the role of a buffoon.
To those nasty souls who lurk in the shadows and read this blog (and call themselves my friends) let me warn you – any comments implying that I am a buffoon 24 x 7 will be reason for me to start making your lives a living hell. SO DESIST.
21st of March is one of the Parsi New Years (we have three). It is also an excuse for the community to “as usual” eat drink and generally have a great time.
One of the Trusts in Dadar has for the last 25 years used the occasion to hold a gala fund raiser for the Trust. As a part of the celebrations there is a stage show that is held on that evening of basically slapstick comedy, dance, and general buffoonery. And yes, for the last few years the heavy load of proving the buffoonery has fallen on my slender shoulders.
It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. I have to a very large extent enjoyed the experience and going by the fact that I have already started getting asked what I plan to do this time, my work is well appreciated to the point that I can proudly claim to be “World Famous throughout Dadar”. I guess you really have arrived when you get called the Amitabh Bacchhan of DPC. (Now if only I could get Junior to do my bidding life would really be rocking).
Anyway so much for the historical background.
Yesterday was a meeting of the Entertainment Committee and that’s when I found out that this time the stage show is planned as a take off on the Nach Balliye programme. (it’s not something I have ever seen but the general response was quite positive so I went along with the idea).
Then suddenly I realised the role that was being planned for me. I was expected to do a takeoff on Saroj Khan.
While I may be camp in private somehow the idea of cross-dressing in a public forum just bugged me.
To me the idea of coming on to the stage as a later day Bobby Darling was just not an option.
I have always held very strong opinions about the general image of the community in public and for me to pander to the most negative of those images (by equating all gays with cross-dressing transexuals) went against all that I have ever cribbed about.
It’s bad enough that the public perception of the community is seen in terms of the Bobby Darlings of the world for me to take on this role would only reinforce this perception and that is something I am not ready to do.
I called up the co-ordinator this morning and explained to her and she said she understood and would change the script accordingly but deep down I think she felt I had let her down.
I am sure that there is a huge community of activists out there who will insist that by refusing to do this I am also insulting a vast segment of the queer community by refusing to accept them as a being like me.
But that is the whole issue!
I DO NOT IDENTIFY WITH THE BOBBY DARLINGS OF THE WORLD.
I have never in my life seen myself a woman in a mans body looking out for a man to make my sexual experience complete.
To me I am and remain a guy who likes (and loves) men. It’s an all male fantasy and a completely masculine reality. Women and the feminine gender do not figure.
Somewhere along the line I believe that the time has come for the general public to realise that the queer community consist of different shades and types.
The overall queer community may see my actions as something that lets down the whole movement for greater visibility of the community and taking pride in reinforcing the solidarity of the rainbow diversity.
But I do believe I am taking a stand. Taking a valid stand when I say that
Every year around the Ides of March I end up taking on the role of a buffoon.
To those nasty souls who lurk in the shadows and read this blog (and call themselves my friends) let me warn you – any comments implying that I am a buffoon 24 x 7 will be reason for me to start making your lives a living hell. SO DESIST.
21st of March is one of the Parsi New Years (we have three). It is also an excuse for the community to “as usual” eat drink and generally have a great time.
One of the Trusts in Dadar has for the last 25 years used the occasion to hold a gala fund raiser for the Trust. As a part of the celebrations there is a stage show that is held on that evening of basically slapstick comedy, dance, and general buffoonery. And yes, for the last few years the heavy load of proving the buffoonery has fallen on my slender shoulders.
It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. I have to a very large extent enjoyed the experience and going by the fact that I have already started getting asked what I plan to do this time, my work is well appreciated to the point that I can proudly claim to be “World Famous throughout Dadar”. I guess you really have arrived when you get called the Amitabh Bacchhan of DPC. (Now if only I could get Junior to do my bidding life would really be rocking).
Anyway so much for the historical background.
Yesterday was a meeting of the Entertainment Committee and that’s when I found out that this time the stage show is planned as a take off on the Nach Balliye programme. (it’s not something I have ever seen but the general response was quite positive so I went along with the idea).
Then suddenly I realised the role that was being planned for me. I was expected to do a takeoff on Saroj Khan.
While I may be camp in private somehow the idea of cross-dressing in a public forum just bugged me.
To me the idea of coming on to the stage as a later day Bobby Darling was just not an option.
I have always held very strong opinions about the general image of the community in public and for me to pander to the most negative of those images (by equating all gays with cross-dressing transexuals) went against all that I have ever cribbed about.
It’s bad enough that the public perception of the community is seen in terms of the Bobby Darlings of the world for me to take on this role would only reinforce this perception and that is something I am not ready to do.
I called up the co-ordinator this morning and explained to her and she said she understood and would change the script accordingly but deep down I think she felt I had let her down.
I am sure that there is a huge community of activists out there who will insist that by refusing to do this I am also insulting a vast segment of the queer community by refusing to accept them as a being like me.
But that is the whole issue!
I DO NOT IDENTIFY WITH THE BOBBY DARLINGS OF THE WORLD.
I have never in my life seen myself a woman in a mans body looking out for a man to make my sexual experience complete.
To me I am and remain a guy who likes (and loves) men. It’s an all male fantasy and a completely masculine reality. Women and the feminine gender do not figure.
Somewhere along the line I believe that the time has come for the general public to realise that the queer community consist of different shades and types.
The overall queer community may see my actions as something that lets down the whole movement for greater visibility of the community and taking pride in reinforcing the solidarity of the rainbow diversity.
But I do believe I am taking a stand. Taking a valid stand when I say that
I am gay,
I am queer,
I am as good as you
I am different from you.
I am also different from Bobby Darling.
And I am ready to stand up and say so
And I am ready to stand up and say so
Thursday, January 19, 2006
A Man and his machines. 20 years on.
Writing about the Original IBM just got me thinking about how much the whole industry has changed in the last twenty odd years.
When IBM first launched their PC they used Charlie Chaplain as the Brand Ambassador for the machine. I wonder if Lenovo would ever try anything so radical today!
I also remember seeing the full page ads that Apple ran at that time welcoming IBM to the party. At that time the Apple II with a built in floppy drive was the machine that serious users bought. “Serious users” talked in a lingo that was alien to most of the other living creature who really did not know what the correct response was to a statement “hey man just do a COPYDIR A:\ DOS : B\”
This was an age when Osborne defined the standards for the portable computer that you could take on the road with you. It cost an obscene amount of money weighed in at around 14 lb and needed a power point to work (no batteries included!)
For the downmarket junta three was of course the original home computer the Sinclair ZX. Less than a hundred dollars and you could hook it up to your television, your cassette player and get started playing Ping.
I think it was also the year that Apple launched the Lisa – the elder sister of Mac the first computer with a mouse. Nerds sneered at the concept – “How dumb do you have to be to need a mouse to do basic tasks like copying files. Just type COPY A:\*.* B:\ That’s so much simpler”
IIT Bombay once more was rife with rumours that we would finally be getting a new computer for the institute. No more batch processing card files on the obsolete Russian EC 1030 (I still can not believe that I could find a link to that machine). The rumours were there all through the five years that I was in the Institute and even when I left we were still going down into the basement with our fingers crossed that the cards had been punched in correctly and the card reader would not suddenly have a glitch and misread line 30 in the classic page generator that you were running.
The upside of this was that I never bought any notebooks during my college years. (Nobody in IIT B did – except freshies and even they caught on very fast)There were legendary programs doing the rounds out there that could flawlessly give you an output of 20 practically blank pages. (The system had a cut off at 20 pages). I remember once we ran multiple strings of these programmes so that we could generate enough paper to put up a huge sign on the hill behind our Hostel to promote our hostels entry in the Cultural competition.
Last year of my stay we got a couple of Intel 8080 machines in the high funda micro-processor lab of the Elec. Dept. Fortunately the guy heading the lab was also my guide for my B Tech project so I could saunter in to the lab at the oddest of hours and do a bit of assembly level programming on the machines. (It’s not for nothing that I was known as an intellectual masturbator in those days).
Then came 1984 and the Mac and perhaps one of the most amazing ad campaigns ever. By then though MSDOS was king and Bill Gates was well on his way to becoming the zillionaire that he now is. The Mac was supposed to change all that.
But just in case. They also launched a cheap and cheerful upgrade to the Apple II – The Apple II C – MY FIRST MACHINE. When I think of the obscene sums that I spent to buy the machine and then smuggle it in I cringe. It’s lying somewhere in an obscure corner and someday I know I will get money for it when they start collecting these as museum pieces.
Somewhere along the line IBM upgraded their machines to the PS/2. They even got a copyright on the term PS/2. – The first serious machine with a hard disk drive.
Close on its heels came the IBM Clones and nothing was ever the same again.
And pirated software. I remember going to my friendly pusher and picking up the early versions of DOS and Wordperfect. Installation was a peach. Only 23 floppy discs that had to be entered in the correct sequence while keeping your fingers crossed that none of them would go bust on you halfway through.
For years after the first versions of Microsoft Word was launched I would still use WP because “Microsoft Programs suck”.
Then came the first tentative versions of Windows. I remember I had one of those beta versions of the Program so I had to always make sure that my computer date was between a period of 3 months that the program would work in.
Actually come to think of it I have not been to my software guy for a very long time now. When Bill finally saw the light and offered XP at a realistic price I switched over to the legal version. With Office having been static for the past 3 – 4 years have not had to change that either. I did talk to Sunil (my Computer peddler) asking him when he expected the Vista to be launched. Can't wait to upgrade!
Also asked him about the new Macs. Got a very stern warning from him about even looking at those machines – “Don’t come to me afterwards crying about the back-up service”. So much for my plans to move on to a “better” machine.
Or perhaps 20 years down the line I am nostalgic about going back to my roots.
Back to the simple Apple rectangular beige box with a single media slot.
When IBM first launched their PC they used Charlie Chaplain as the Brand Ambassador for the machine. I wonder if Lenovo would ever try anything so radical today!
I also remember seeing the full page ads that Apple ran at that time welcoming IBM to the party. At that time the Apple II with a built in floppy drive was the machine that serious users bought. “Serious users” talked in a lingo that was alien to most of the other living creature who really did not know what the correct response was to a statement “hey man just do a COPYDIR A:\ DOS : B\”
This was an age when Osborne defined the standards for the portable computer that you could take on the road with you. It cost an obscene amount of money weighed in at around 14 lb and needed a power point to work (no batteries included!)
For the downmarket junta three was of course the original home computer the Sinclair ZX. Less than a hundred dollars and you could hook it up to your television, your cassette player and get started playing Ping.
I think it was also the year that Apple launched the Lisa – the elder sister of Mac the first computer with a mouse. Nerds sneered at the concept – “How dumb do you have to be to need a mouse to do basic tasks like copying files. Just type COPY A:\*.* B:\ That’s so much simpler”
IIT Bombay once more was rife with rumours that we would finally be getting a new computer for the institute. No more batch processing card files on the obsolete Russian EC 1030 (I still can not believe that I could find a link to that machine). The rumours were there all through the five years that I was in the Institute and even when I left we were still going down into the basement with our fingers crossed that the cards had been punched in correctly and the card reader would not suddenly have a glitch and misread line 30 in the classic page generator that you were running.
The upside of this was that I never bought any notebooks during my college years. (Nobody in IIT B did – except freshies and even they caught on very fast)There were legendary programs doing the rounds out there that could flawlessly give you an output of 20 practically blank pages. (The system had a cut off at 20 pages). I remember once we ran multiple strings of these programmes so that we could generate enough paper to put up a huge sign on the hill behind our Hostel to promote our hostels entry in the Cultural competition.
Last year of my stay we got a couple of Intel 8080 machines in the high funda micro-processor lab of the Elec. Dept. Fortunately the guy heading the lab was also my guide for my B Tech project so I could saunter in to the lab at the oddest of hours and do a bit of assembly level programming on the machines. (It’s not for nothing that I was known as an intellectual masturbator in those days).
Then came 1984 and the Mac and perhaps one of the most amazing ad campaigns ever. By then though MSDOS was king and Bill Gates was well on his way to becoming the zillionaire that he now is. The Mac was supposed to change all that.
But just in case. They also launched a cheap and cheerful upgrade to the Apple II – The Apple II C – MY FIRST MACHINE. When I think of the obscene sums that I spent to buy the machine and then smuggle it in I cringe. It’s lying somewhere in an obscure corner and someday I know I will get money for it when they start collecting these as museum pieces.
Somewhere along the line IBM upgraded their machines to the PS/2. They even got a copyright on the term PS/2. – The first serious machine with a hard disk drive.
Close on its heels came the IBM Clones and nothing was ever the same again.
And pirated software. I remember going to my friendly pusher and picking up the early versions of DOS and Wordperfect. Installation was a peach. Only 23 floppy discs that had to be entered in the correct sequence while keeping your fingers crossed that none of them would go bust on you halfway through.
For years after the first versions of Microsoft Word was launched I would still use WP because “Microsoft Programs suck”.
Then came the first tentative versions of Windows. I remember I had one of those beta versions of the Program so I had to always make sure that my computer date was between a period of 3 months that the program would work in.
Actually come to think of it I have not been to my software guy for a very long time now. When Bill finally saw the light and offered XP at a realistic price I switched over to the legal version. With Office having been static for the past 3 – 4 years have not had to change that either. I did talk to Sunil (my Computer peddler) asking him when he expected the Vista to be launched. Can't wait to upgrade!
Also asked him about the new Macs. Got a very stern warning from him about even looking at those machines – “Don’t come to me afterwards crying about the back-up service”. So much for my plans to move on to a “better” machine.
Or perhaps 20 years down the line I am nostalgic about going back to my roots.
Back to the simple Apple rectangular beige box with a single media slot.
Another day... another feather
As someone who was already in the last year of College when IBM first launched its PC, I never really had any formal training on PC's and PC Software (except for a few courses on FORTRAN and COBOL – Are they still around?).
The Internet revolution was a party I came to pretty late and as such I have never really gotten down to getting any formal training in Web skills.
Which is one of the reasons I feel pretty proud of myself today.
*Flashback*
Got a frantic call yesterday morning from Butki (if she were a few years younger I would grab her as my fag hag).
The Bombay Hash Harriers are hosting the National Hash in the Western region this year and details of the event were to have been put up on the website. Originally it was planned that her son (while on vacation from Amrika) would do the needful. Obviously that did not happen and Charlie boy has “gone back to states” (mother and son are both going to kill me for implying that either of them talk in this fashion). Anyway with time running out it was decided that in the Land of the blind (and bland) the one eyed (and flamboyant fag) would be KING (admit it you expected me to say QUEEN here didn’t you?).
“We need the details up on the site pronto”. I really did not have the heart to tell her that I have never before in my life designed a web page or done any significant HTML programming. Basically “ijjat kaa sawaal hai”.
Procrastinated as usual. Somehow I get the feeling Butki knows me too well by know because promptly at 4 in the afternoon (since she knows that the Stock markets shut at 3:30) she called back to remind me that I had to get started on it. And she added the absolute clincher. “Should I ask one of Mihir’s (sonny boy) friends to help you out”.
That DID IT! Armed with a Bottle of diet Pepsi I got started.
Checked out the old site. Extremely minimalist and very, very boring. Opened Front page, downloaded smart FTP, BACKED UP EVERYTHING! And then, started making the first few tentative changes.
By 2 this morning I was cruising along with the final touches to the SPANKING NEW BH3 site.
Brilliant if I have to say so myself (The photo pages give you an idea of the original site design- done by guys who studied all this in School and College and are studying some more of this in some obscure Univ. in USA).
*End of Flashback*
Seriously pat on the Back time.
Now I need to get started on designing some nice sexy gay porn site and making me some serious pink dollars. I am looking for volunteer models. I know there is one image of an Indian ex-slut in tight black shorts that I have already downloaded. Care to do a whole series darling?? Promise I will not tell the Boy!
The Internet revolution was a party I came to pretty late and as such I have never really gotten down to getting any formal training in Web skills.
Which is one of the reasons I feel pretty proud of myself today.
*Flashback*
Got a frantic call yesterday morning from Butki (if she were a few years younger I would grab her as my fag hag).
The Bombay Hash Harriers are hosting the National Hash in the Western region this year and details of the event were to have been put up on the website. Originally it was planned that her son (while on vacation from Amrika) would do the needful. Obviously that did not happen and Charlie boy has “gone back to states” (mother and son are both going to kill me for implying that either of them talk in this fashion). Anyway with time running out it was decided that in the Land of the blind (and bland) the one eyed (and flamboyant fag) would be KING (admit it you expected me to say QUEEN here didn’t you?).
“We need the details up on the site pronto”. I really did not have the heart to tell her that I have never before in my life designed a web page or done any significant HTML programming. Basically “ijjat kaa sawaal hai”.
Procrastinated as usual. Somehow I get the feeling Butki knows me too well by know because promptly at 4 in the afternoon (since she knows that the Stock markets shut at 3:30) she called back to remind me that I had to get started on it. And she added the absolute clincher. “Should I ask one of Mihir’s (sonny boy) friends to help you out”.
That DID IT! Armed with a Bottle of diet Pepsi I got started.
Checked out the old site. Extremely minimalist and very, very boring. Opened Front page, downloaded smart FTP, BACKED UP EVERYTHING! And then, started making the first few tentative changes.
By 2 this morning I was cruising along with the final touches to the SPANKING NEW BH3 site.
Brilliant if I have to say so myself (The photo pages give you an idea of the original site design- done by guys who studied all this in School and College and are studying some more of this in some obscure Univ. in USA).
*End of Flashback*
Seriously pat on the Back time.
Now I need to get started on designing some nice sexy gay porn site and making me some serious pink dollars. I am looking for volunteer models. I know there is one image of an Indian ex-slut in tight black shorts that I have already downloaded. Care to do a whole series darling?? Promise I will not tell the Boy!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
2 days to go...
Missed the signatures this year!
Last year since I had run for the Tsunami Relief fund I had managed to get a Bib number autographed by Kapil Dev who was one of the reps of the sponsors.
I remember a chat I had with the guys from BPL at that time. It seems Go FM was auctioning 50 entries to the Run (with funds being collected for the Tsunami Relief) and at the same time they were also auctioning the Kingfisher Calendar. It seems the Calendar got higher bids than the Charity. Says a lot about the City, and not very nice things either.
This time round I’m running as an ordinary guy- so no signed bib.
In any case just on the off-chance that any of you guys turn on the Television look for the bib number. Yes M, I will try and come in the first 500 (you were not serious about the top 5 were you?)
I wish the Pink run thing had taken off but it just I guess it is too much to expect a bunch of fags to get out "early" on a Sunday Morning after a Party on Saturday Night.
What is it with GB that they make it a point to organize a party on the night before the Marathon? They had done it last year as well and again this time.
Could they not have done it as a Post run Brunch at Karma? If nothing else it would have given me the excuse to come out there in my skimpy addidas and show off them calves.
Tried to pull a fast one at the gym yesterday. I suggested that since I was running the race I should perhaps take thing easy for the next couple of days. The only thing that prevented me from being swept away in a Tsunami of abuse was the presence of a few lady members in the room. These guys have no idea of the kind of effort we need to put in for this marathon run.
Wish I was a tad older. That way I could have run in the Senior Citizens run and ‘mingled’ with the Baby B who will be flagging off the run. Seriously, but they could have had any ugly codger for that run and none of the cataract ridden, toothless codgers would have been any the wiser. (Thank God my aunt does not know I write a blog! I would be dead meat after that comment)
Prime Beef should have been reserved for the Dream Runners. Wouldn’t I like that on my plate – with or without dressing? Actually could I have him packed up as a take-away?
Last year since I had run for the Tsunami Relief fund I had managed to get a Bib number autographed by Kapil Dev who was one of the reps of the sponsors.
I remember a chat I had with the guys from BPL at that time. It seems Go FM was auctioning 50 entries to the Run (with funds being collected for the Tsunami Relief) and at the same time they were also auctioning the Kingfisher Calendar. It seems the Calendar got higher bids than the Charity. Says a lot about the City, and not very nice things either.
This time round I’m running as an ordinary guy- so no signed bib.
In any case just on the off-chance that any of you guys turn on the Television look for the bib number. Yes M, I will try and come in the first 500 (you were not serious about the top 5 were you?)
I wish the Pink run thing had taken off but it just I guess it is too much to expect a bunch of fags to get out "early" on a Sunday Morning after a Party on Saturday Night.
What is it with GB that they make it a point to organize a party on the night before the Marathon? They had done it last year as well and again this time.
Could they not have done it as a Post run Brunch at Karma? If nothing else it would have given me the excuse to come out there in my skimpy addidas and show off them calves.
Tried to pull a fast one at the gym yesterday. I suggested that since I was running the race I should perhaps take thing easy for the next couple of days. The only thing that prevented me from being swept away in a Tsunami of abuse was the presence of a few lady members in the room. These guys have no idea of the kind of effort we need to put in for this marathon run.
Wish I was a tad older. That way I could have run in the Senior Citizens run and ‘mingled’ with the Baby B who will be flagging off the run. Seriously, but they could have had any ugly codger for that run and none of the cataract ridden, toothless codgers would have been any the wiser. (Thank God my aunt does not know I write a blog! I would be dead meat after that comment)
Prime Beef should have been reserved for the Dream Runners. Wouldn’t I like that on my plate – with or without dressing? Actually could I have him packed up as a take-away?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Saala Gaali detaa hai...
That was my first reaction when I read CT’s description of me.
Me! A ‘family man’?
I have never really seen myself as one and most certainly there are vast sections of my family and social circle who would die if they were to ever hear that being said about the ‘anti-social’ person 'completely lacking in people skills' that they have always portrayed me as.
I realise I have changed over the past few years. There was a time when family functions meant changing my schedule to make sure that mom got the car and driver to take her wherever she had to go.
Part of the reason for my not wanting to go for these family do’s was that long after my mom had given up there were still some kindly souls who felt it was their life’s goal to get me married, or at least to inquire as to when I would be walking up the stairs to put my slender neck into the matrimonial noose.
At some point you get tired of giving the stock answers of “Oh I need to get settled first”, “Elder sister first”… The classiest one was of course when I pointed out that I did not want to subject any young girl to the trauma of having to live with my mother. That got a lot of sympathetic nods from Dad’s side of the family and a reiteration from mom that I was free to find a place of my own once I got married.
Once mom passed away though, everything changed. While I could still avoid the sundry weddings, unavoidable were the funerals. I’m not really sure if this is only a Baawa thing or pretty much a Pan Indian phenomenon but at funerals attendance is noted and absence is commented on. Works for me actually. Go there, sit in silence, pay your respects to the family and scoot. No socialising, no casual conversations, minimal interaction. Totally my kind of event.
And if in case anyone now dares to even raise the wedding question I have the absolute clincher of a response. “Aunty, would you want your daughter to get married to an out of work 45 year old bald guy?” Works! Every time!!
In a way though I guess I have been fortunate enough to be able to get out of the rat race at an early age. To me this is an opportunity to do something that gives me satisfaction.
For the life of me I can not see myself as part of some NGO fighting for the rights of an underprivileged minority. I have always believed that this is a segment that is very well represented and well served by a horde of more compassionate souls. There is however a vast segment out there that is not desperately needy but can still do with support.
Kids today are once such segment. Not the poor homeless street kids but kids from decent homes, with well meaning parents who in their desire to give their kids, and themselves, the best that they can often do not have the time to spend with them. Not the uber-rich whose kids are neglected because the parents are not concerned but kids like I was when I was growing up.
I see this more as an elder-brother programme. It’s what got me involved with the whole Kids Summer Camp programme, the Zo-child programmes and also the All Parsi Sports. For someone who never indulged in any physical activity as a kid I find it exciting to get involved with these kids in a variety of social activities.
We have a 15 year cut-off for these summer camps and there is a whole bunch of guys who will get the axe this year. Was chatting with them during the Z-child thing and realised that none of them wants to get thrown out. So I am trying to work out if we can take a few of them along with us this year as Junior Volunteers. Get them to work on the opposite side of the fence for a change – germinate some seeds of leadership in a way.
Right now I have got a negative response from the Boss of the camp but as any of my intimate acquaintances will confirm when I set my mind to it I can charm the pants off any guy.
Family man? I think not!!!
BIG BRUDDER!! Yo man – right ON!!
Me! A ‘family man’?
I have never really seen myself as one and most certainly there are vast sections of my family and social circle who would die if they were to ever hear that being said about the ‘anti-social’ person 'completely lacking in people skills' that they have always portrayed me as.
I realise I have changed over the past few years. There was a time when family functions meant changing my schedule to make sure that mom got the car and driver to take her wherever she had to go.
Part of the reason for my not wanting to go for these family do’s was that long after my mom had given up there were still some kindly souls who felt it was their life’s goal to get me married, or at least to inquire as to when I would be walking up the stairs to put my slender neck into the matrimonial noose.
At some point you get tired of giving the stock answers of “Oh I need to get settled first”, “Elder sister first”… The classiest one was of course when I pointed out that I did not want to subject any young girl to the trauma of having to live with my mother. That got a lot of sympathetic nods from Dad’s side of the family and a reiteration from mom that I was free to find a place of my own once I got married.
Once mom passed away though, everything changed. While I could still avoid the sundry weddings, unavoidable were the funerals. I’m not really sure if this is only a Baawa thing or pretty much a Pan Indian phenomenon but at funerals attendance is noted and absence is commented on. Works for me actually. Go there, sit in silence, pay your respects to the family and scoot. No socialising, no casual conversations, minimal interaction. Totally my kind of event.
And if in case anyone now dares to even raise the wedding question I have the absolute clincher of a response. “Aunty, would you want your daughter to get married to an out of work 45 year old bald guy?” Works! Every time!!
In a way though I guess I have been fortunate enough to be able to get out of the rat race at an early age. To me this is an opportunity to do something that gives me satisfaction.
For the life of me I can not see myself as part of some NGO fighting for the rights of an underprivileged minority. I have always believed that this is a segment that is very well represented and well served by a horde of more compassionate souls. There is however a vast segment out there that is not desperately needy but can still do with support.
Kids today are once such segment. Not the poor homeless street kids but kids from decent homes, with well meaning parents who in their desire to give their kids, and themselves, the best that they can often do not have the time to spend with them. Not the uber-rich whose kids are neglected because the parents are not concerned but kids like I was when I was growing up.
I see this more as an elder-brother programme. It’s what got me involved with the whole Kids Summer Camp programme, the Zo-child programmes and also the All Parsi Sports. For someone who never indulged in any physical activity as a kid I find it exciting to get involved with these kids in a variety of social activities.
We have a 15 year cut-off for these summer camps and there is a whole bunch of guys who will get the axe this year. Was chatting with them during the Z-child thing and realised that none of them wants to get thrown out. So I am trying to work out if we can take a few of them along with us this year as Junior Volunteers. Get them to work on the opposite side of the fence for a change – germinate some seeds of leadership in a way.
Right now I have got a negative response from the Boss of the camp but as any of my intimate acquaintances will confirm when I set my mind to it I can charm the pants off any guy.
Family man? I think not!!!
BIG BRUDDER!! Yo man – right ON!!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Thank God for the weekends...
Came in to Pune yesterday. Brought an aunt, a cousin and three nephews along with me.
Chaos started even before we hit the expressway. Ordering 5 breakfasts at McDonalds was not a joke since two would not eat anything with cheese, an aunt insisted on tea without sugar (Mc does not do them it seems!).
Once we hit the road things improved - Traffic wise at least. My peace of mind lasted for about 20 minutes till Nephew No. 1 turned around and asked his mom why the cops were not tailing us despite the fact that we were about 100 km/hr above the speed limit (I forgot that this bunch has just relocated from Silicon Valley USA to Silicon Valley, Karnataka). Cousin and aunt both went ballistic. As a result I had to drive the rest of the distance under 120. There were Wagon R’s that were threatening to overtake me- that’s how demeaning the experience was.
The whole week has been pretty much a disaster. Slept through the New Year (Yes Vikram, I know they were playing fantastic music at Karma but I really could not enthuse myself to come down there). Sunday morning was the silver lining on the week long dark cloud. Went and saw a matinee show after eons. Bluffmaster. Can't think of a better way to start a year than in the company of AB’s Baby in a dark and nearly empty theatre.
Went back to my regular Gym on Monday. Got the ‘expected’ firing and the sarcastic “we knew you would never be able to keep up” looks from a whole bunch of preening Adonis (what’s the term for more than one of them?).
Sis was back in Town for some work on Tuesday. A wasted trip because one of the guys we were supposed to meet at 11 in the morning only turned up at 1:00. Spent the evening at home in the company of a few neighbors some of whom are down from the States and Canada for their holidays. Since the damn thing was fixed at my house had to get things organized – net result No GYM.
Wednesday was spent attending the funeral of one of Dads cousins. For a man in his late eighties he was certainly looked fit enough when I had met him a few weeks back at the Navjote so getting the news of his passing away was certainly a shock. Came back pretty low so –NO GYM.
Woke up on Thursday with a bad cold and a mild fever, which got progressively worse through the day. Despite medication, by evening the only option available was to go to the Docs and get a shot. SO NO GYM.
Friday morning I left for Pune so…
Tried something really bold yesterday evening. Took all four nephews (Ashdin and the three NRIs) to a Toy shop. Managed to survive with at least a scrap of my credit allowance intact. There was a point though where it was a close fight as to which would die first – their demands or my credit rating.
The Gang of four pretty much managed to keep me away from the computer all of yesterday and would have done a repeat today as well except for the fact that since they had gotten up early this morning and the reception will carry on till late tonight they have all been told in no uncertain terms that they have to sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Thank God I do not have a mother to lay down such rules for me as well.
There is more of the family expected later. There’s a cousin from Bangalore who could not come down for the Navjote so will be coming in today for the reception. All in all it should be a fun weekend.
Chaos started even before we hit the expressway. Ordering 5 breakfasts at McDonalds was not a joke since two would not eat anything with cheese, an aunt insisted on tea without sugar (Mc does not do them it seems!).
Once we hit the road things improved - Traffic wise at least. My peace of mind lasted for about 20 minutes till Nephew No. 1 turned around and asked his mom why the cops were not tailing us despite the fact that we were about 100 km/hr above the speed limit (I forgot that this bunch has just relocated from Silicon Valley USA to Silicon Valley, Karnataka). Cousin and aunt both went ballistic. As a result I had to drive the rest of the distance under 120. There were Wagon R’s that were threatening to overtake me- that’s how demeaning the experience was.
The whole week has been pretty much a disaster. Slept through the New Year (Yes Vikram, I know they were playing fantastic music at Karma but I really could not enthuse myself to come down there). Sunday morning was the silver lining on the week long dark cloud. Went and saw a matinee show after eons. Bluffmaster. Can't think of a better way to start a year than in the company of AB’s Baby in a dark and nearly empty theatre.
Went back to my regular Gym on Monday. Got the ‘expected’ firing and the sarcastic “we knew you would never be able to keep up” looks from a whole bunch of preening Adonis (what’s the term for more than one of them?).
Sis was back in Town for some work on Tuesday. A wasted trip because one of the guys we were supposed to meet at 11 in the morning only turned up at 1:00. Spent the evening at home in the company of a few neighbors some of whom are down from the States and Canada for their holidays. Since the damn thing was fixed at my house had to get things organized – net result No GYM.
Wednesday was spent attending the funeral of one of Dads cousins. For a man in his late eighties he was certainly looked fit enough when I had met him a few weeks back at the Navjote so getting the news of his passing away was certainly a shock. Came back pretty low so –NO GYM.
Woke up on Thursday with a bad cold and a mild fever, which got progressively worse through the day. Despite medication, by evening the only option available was to go to the Docs and get a shot. SO NO GYM.
Friday morning I left for Pune so…
Tried something really bold yesterday evening. Took all four nephews (Ashdin and the three NRIs) to a Toy shop. Managed to survive with at least a scrap of my credit allowance intact. There was a point though where it was a close fight as to which would die first – their demands or my credit rating.
The Gang of four pretty much managed to keep me away from the computer all of yesterday and would have done a repeat today as well except for the fact that since they had gotten up early this morning and the reception will carry on till late tonight they have all been told in no uncertain terms that they have to sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Thank God I do not have a mother to lay down such rules for me as well.
There is more of the family expected later. There’s a cousin from Bangalore who could not come down for the Navjote so will be coming in today for the reception. All in all it should be a fun weekend.
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